Expectations Regarding People

Introduction

Are people shaped by expectations? I experienced a turning point in my life in my early twenties. When I was poor and couldn't find my path in learning, I was inspired by a book I happened to read. I remember it as a book about positive thinking. It's known that there are many arguments against this claim. However, expectations of positivity towards humans can influence our attitudes, habits, and our entire lives. We cannot know everything about people. Even if we study MBTI, we do not have the right to confine people within those patterns. So, how can we overcome this?



Respect begins with expectations.

I have been teaching students for over 20 years. Now, I've become what's called a seasoned teacher. I can gauge to some extent the attitudes and expectations of students through their learning attitudes and test papers. However, I am very cautious about this. Many of the children I have met have faced difficulties in life because of teachers' attitudes like this. It's what's called the Pygmalion effect. However, having unrealistic expectations is also not good for students.

It is important to have an attitude of respect towards students. Children instinctively recognize our respect. They naturally understand that I like myself without me having to say it. Respect of the heart is not just about liking. I once confessed this to my students:

"I hope you all become much better than me, more amazing than me, and far superior individuals than me!"

As I made this confession, I felt my eyes welling up with tears. Respecting children means recognizing that they have a self and respecting it, thinking that they have a much better potential.

The scope of expectations is infinite.

So, how much should we expect? It's good to have infinite expectations. It's a 'sin' to stay at that level or below while being a teacher and sharing one's experiences. Students' lives face various phases, and the timing is different for each. So, let's rethink our thoughts!

The potential of the children I meet is infinite. Let's acknowledge that they are beings that surpass my thoughts and imagination. Just for a moment, let's not judge everything based on words, expressions, attitudes, and environments. 

Expectations are not delusions, but acceptance of reality.

However, baseless expectations become a 'torture of hope.' It is about accepting the existence of students first. Recognition is recognizing that existence as the other party. This process is possible in the process of valuing relationships. It's good to approach first. But I can't do that. It takes time for me to get to know people. So, I open my heart first so that children can approach me without any hesitation. I allow them to call me easily. Sometimes there are rude friends. I ask them to behave politely personally. Then I try to be as polite as possible. It is based on my trust in them. Children do not trust adults who say they can do things they cannot. It's the moment when communication is cut off. I've had many such experiences. So, I observe a lot. No, I'm always observing. I mostly try to observe emotions. If I see someone struggling too much, I ask carefully, "What's wrong?" "Are you okay?" And when children greet me warmly, I try to match that atmosphere as much as possible. And it's good to use the way of communicating with children. Personally, I use Instagram. If children request it, I post on Instagram at any time. Of course, I also post even if I refuse. Sometimes, bold decisions should be made depending on the relationship with children.


Conclusion

Understanding students, children, family, and colleagues is not easy. However, just by expecting something from them, they will already have the feeling of being respected. And there is a process required to express this expectation, and it requires careful attention. Let's not forget that everyone deserves respect and is more than enough! 


<Questions>

Q1: How can we balance having high expectations for students with not putting too much pressure on them?

Q2: Can you provide examples of specific strategies you use to show respect and build positive relationships with your students?

Q3: In your experience, how have students typically responded to your approach of having high expectations and showing respect for their potential?

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